Thursday, December 17, 2009

I.*

color brillante
del azulado abeto
sobre mi cielo

* A haiku by Duna. She left this haiku as a comment.

II.**
autumn sky
the brilliant blue
of a fir

**An adaptation in English of Duna's haiku above.












8 comments:

Duna said...

Me encanta!!!!

Siempre vendré a dejarte haykus, si tu quieres.
Me encantaría escibir contigo.

Estás en mi corazón, Búscate.

Muchos besos, y muchas gracias.

Duna said...

Si quieres podemos escribir juntos haykus y tankas.

Esta tarde vengo y te pongo un Tanka.

Besos amigo.

Devika Jyothi said...

Good one, Carlos and Duna...i can only read and understand the English version :)

wishes,
devika

Ralf Bröker said...

I do understand the English version properly, but I can see some differences to the original. So at least (and having seen the first two comments) I'd like to say: this could be the start of a nice set.

Best wishes
Ralf

Anonymous said...

Beautiful in both languages.

Carlos Gesmundo said...

Hi Duna!

I’m pleased by your offer to write together. But Ralf is right. [Thank you, Ralf.] I am not fluent in Spanish and I will miss Spanish colloquialisms. There would be differences between what you write and my "translation." And online translators are not always helpful.

Because of my poor Spanish, our sets of verses would most likely turn out to be weird :) -- stilted, uncoordinated, etc. Which is why, in this post, the most I aspired for was to loosely compose an "adaptation" – not a "translation" -- of your haiku.

But please continue leaving haiku as you wish. I appreciate your fellowship. Reading the haiku of fellow bloggers helps me improve myself as a student of haiku.

Devika and “fourwindshaiga” Sandy, thank you for your generous comments!

Warm regards to all.

Tatiana Aguilera said...

Hermoso complemento, conozco la escritura de Duna, y desde hace poco la tuya, simbiosis perfecta. Felicidades.

Carlos Gesmundo said...

Hi Taty. Your generous words are much appreciated.

Best regards.